Awe and Fulfillment

Although I've never even thought to buy the magazine before, I was required to purchase the December issue of O Magazine for an academic class and was pleasantly surprised by the content. One article in particular caught my attention titled  "The Key to Fulfillment". A pulled quote from the piece pretty much sums it up:

Somewhere at the intersection of joy, fear, mystery, and insight lies awe, that ineffable response to the amazing world around us. Only recently have scientists taken a look at the sensation—and why it may be key to a more fulfilling life. 

When discussing it in class my professor commented “You couldn’t pay me to read this,” implying that the Oprah “cheese factor,” understandably so, was sure to be sky high in this article. However, I did read it and maybe it’s my sappiness, even though I’ll choose to call it artsy-ness ;), and I liked it. I could completely relate to those moments of “awe” when you feel “overwhelmed, surprised, humbled, and even a little terrified all at the same time. As a dancer I can compare this feeling to not only feeling small when gazing at the cosmos like research scientist Heidi Hammel featured in the article but also feeling larger than life when performing on stage. Dance continues to provide my sense of wonder and attachment to the “bigger picture” of life.  I feel incredibly blessed to be hyper aware of my body and as a result be able to more fully realize this “utter fulfillment” or “awe” again and again.

 

New Challenges

In the last year of the Ailey/Fordham BFA program we have several tasks which must be completed, the first of which is to choreograph our own piece. It must be 4-8 minutes long, we must find the music, costumes, and do the lighting. While I've taken Composition class for the past two years this will be my first time starting and finishing an entire piece. I'll call it: "rosee du matin," french for morning dew. The final product will be fresh, young, and feminine...I wish I could say the same for the process.

The first strike against the class of 2011 is the fact that they pushed the performance up an entire month earlier than they've done in the past. Perfect.

The second bummer is that all 17 of us, plus outside classes/workshops, plus other "regular" Ailey students, are all requesting studio space for most likely the same time. What does this mean? After our already long days most of us are being given space at 10:30 at night or (gasp!) 10:30am...on a Saturday.

And last but not least there's the general struggle to work with other dancers who are either students or professionals and have the same, if not busier, schedule that you do!

Despite all of these (major) setbacks, I have learned more from this experience than I would have ever thought possible. I now know the real meaning of rolling with the punches, my time management skills have shot through the roof (in a good way,) and most importantly I have a newfound respect for choreographers.

It's such a different world teaching phrases that you've come up with and having your vision come alive right before you. This process has taught me more about myself in terms of movement quality and even stress management than I'd care to admit.

The show is this Thursday and hopefully all my hard work will have payed off. Of course I'll be stressed and squeezing my boyfriends hand as hard as I can, but the moment the music starts I have to let all of the anxiety go because ultimately my work is done. All thats left is for them to make my vision come alive. And deep down I know they'll do it beautifully.

My Inspiration